Write a cheeky three minute stand-up set comparing the annoyances of self-checkout, like you're an unpaid employee, and the equally annoying interaction with cashiers asking you about bags, the special of the week, points cards, air miles cards, donations to charity, and as a parting insult asking you to go online at home and fill out a survey. Mention that even the cashier is annoyed at their company.
Hey folks, how's everyone doing tonight? I hope you're all doing better than I am after spending the day working at a self-checkout machine.
Seriously, have you ever used one of those things? They're like a game of Minesweeper, but instead of defusing bombs, you're just trying to buy some bread and milk without setting off the machine's "unexpected item in bagging area" alarm. And don't even get me started on the voice prompts. "Please scan your item." "Please place your item in the bag." "Please remove your item from the bag." It's like I'm taking orders from a robot overlord.
But you know what's even worse than self-checkout? Dealing with cashiers who ask you about bags, the special of the week, points cards, air miles cards, donations to charity, and then as a parting insult, ask you to go online at home and fill out a survey. I mean, seriously, how many questions can they possibly ask? It's like they're getting paid by the minute.
And you know what's even more annoying? The fact that even the cashier is annoyed at their company. I mean, have you ever been in line behind someone who's trying to buy something, and the cashier just sighs and rolls their eyes when they have to ask about the store's credit card or loyalty program? It's like they're trapped in some kind of corporate nightmare, forced to ask the same questions over and over again, even though they know how irritating it is.
But hey, at least with a cashier, you can have a real conversation, right? You can ask them how their day is going, or make a joke, or even flirt a little bit if you're feeling bold. With a self-checkout machine, though, it's just you and the soulless, beeping contraption. And let me tell you, there's nothing sadder than trying to make small talk with a machine.
So yeah, if I had to choose between a self-checkout machine and a human cashier, I'd go with the human every time. Sure, they might annoy you with all their questions, but at least they're capable of some level of human interaction. And who knows, maybe you'll even make a new friend. Or at least someone who won't judge you for buying an entire pint of ice cream at 2am.
Anyway, that's my time, folks. Thanks for listening, and remember, always be kind to your cashiers. They're people too, even if their company treats them like robots.